JERUSALEM - As the world becomes increasingly jittery over the spread of the swine flu, one Israeli health official is more concerned over the name of the new strain of influenza.

"Swine flu? I don't have to show you any stinkin' swine flu!"

Because of Jewish and Muslim sensitivity to the pig and pork products, Deputy Health Minister Yakov Litzman told a news conference that the flu should be renamed “Mexican” influenza.

Apparently, Mexicans are less offensive to Jewish and Muslim sensibilities than are pigs, which they consider to be “unclean.”

Obviously, Mr. Litzman has never sampled the tap water in Mexico.

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VERACRUZ - We’re speechless … but not as speechless as one Mexican laborer.

A Mexican worker sewed his lips shut as a protest. We're guessing this guy's reasons were more esoteric.

A worker for the Mexican state water company in Veracruz has sewn his lips shut to draw attention to his unsuccessful attempt to get a promotion to a desk job.

Using a needle and thread, the unidentified worker put five stitches through his lips in front of the water company offices.

In a written statement — obviously — to reporters, the man explained that for five years he has pleaded his case but has only received empty promises.

Angela Navarette, a labor-union leader for the water company described the man as a troublemaker who refuses to compromise.

It would seem that with his steely resolve and ability to think outside the box, this man would make ideal front office material.

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