YOUR STATE - Who doesn’t love a tasty burger? Well, maybe those vegan freakazoids, but their opinions hardly count.
Dig in, cruisers!
As Samuel L. Jackson once noted: “Hamburgers! The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast!”
But finding a great burger can involve some time and effort.
To save you some time, Food Network Magazine has rated the 50 best burgers by state.
See where you can get some hot patty by going here.
LOS ANGELES - You’d think from all the media hysteria that this outbreak of swine flu signalled the end of the world.
Music for swine flu season.
Well, the World Health Organization presents some numbers that should reassure the panicky.
According to Vivienne Allan, from WHO’s patient safety program, there have been only 7 swine flu deaths — all in Mexico — and not the over 150 deaths that has been reported. In fact, there have only been 79 confirmed cases worldwide.
To put things in perspective, the Centers for Disease Control notes that in the United States, in an average year during the 1990s, about 36,000 people died from flu-related causes.
The swine flu isn’t even coming close to approaching those numbers.
So relax. Have a pork chop for dinner tonight. Be kind to a Mexican. Rock out to Blodwyn Pig.
For more, go here.
CHICAGO - Called for jury duty at the Cook County Criminal Court, actor Mr. T did not shirk his civic duty on Monday.
Mr. T: Model citizen.
Sadly, he was not selected for the jury.
However, the “A-Team” star did utter some particular sage bon mots.
“It’s not about ‘The A-Team;’ it’s the J-Team — the jury team,” said Mr. T.
Like all who served the day at the courthouse, Mr. T was paid $17.20 for his troubles.
As for not being selected for the jury in a drug trial, Mr. T was philisophical, “If you’re innocent, I’m your best man,” he said. “But if you’re guilty, I pity that fool.”
Well said, Mr. T. Well said.
For more, visit here.
JERUSALEM - As the world becomes increasingly jittery over the spread of the swine flu, one Israeli health official is more concerned over the name of the new strain of influenza.
"Swine flu? I don't have to show you any stinkin' swine flu!"
Because of Jewish and Muslim sensitivity to the pig and pork products, Deputy Health Minister Yakov Litzman told a news conference that the flu should be renamed “Mexican” influenza.
Apparently, Mexicans are less offensive to Jewish and Muslim sensibilities than are pigs, which they consider to be “unclean.”
Obviously, Mr. Litzman has never sampled the tap water in Mexico.
For more, visit here.
WASHINGTON - Americans are stuck, it seems.
Americans not migrating for low-paying jobs anymore.
During the Great Depression, migration was the ticket for Americans in search of jobs and greener pastures, but here in the Great Recession, we seem to be staying put.
Experts are concerned on two fronts. One, that Americans are unable or unwilling to relocate in search of jobs. And, two, that the lack of movement affects the economic activity associated with the act of relocating.
Of course, it seems as if these concerned experts are unaware that there is no magical Shangri-La where good jobs are plentiful right now … and who wants to go to the expense of relocating for the typical “McJob?”
For more, go here.
BOSTON - In what has to be one of the most comical statements ever issued by a CEO, Craigslist.org’s chief executive Jim Buckmaster denied that the classified ad website offers sexually-related ads.
You can bet if you're ordering hookers on Craigslist, they probably don't look like this.
Responding to an e-mail query by the Boston Globe, Buckmaster wrote, “I would not describe any section of our site as ’sex related.’”
Buckmaster did admit that there was an “erotic services” section on the site, however.
The Globe pointed out that yesterday afternoon, there were at least 150 sexually-explicit ads in the Boston area’s erotic services section.
For more on the delusional Mr. Buckmaster, please go here.
BALTIMORE - Dr. Richard Gelles, an expert in the field of domestic violence says that America should prepare for an increase in what he calls “familicide,” in which a head of household kills his family and then himself.
Lost your job? Your family can deal with that better than it can with you killing them.
Gelles says the disturbing trend is on the rise and is tied directly to the economy. The good doctor profiles the perpetrators as white men between the ages of 30 and 60 and who have lost a job or suffered a significant drop in income.
When asked how society can stem this coming wave of violence, Gelles was less than optimistic: “You can’t.”
And somewhere, someone is listening to Bob Dylan’s “The Ballad of Hollis Brown” and thinking, maybe this unkempt youngster is on to something.
For more, go here.
FAIRFAX, Va. - Police are saying that David Kellerman, the acting head of Freddie Mac, the government controlled company that owns or guarantees about 13 million home loans, has committed suicide.
Freddie's dead ... Well, David Kellerman is.
The 41-year-old Kellerman was found dead at his Fairfax County home by his wife.
Kellermann was appointed as acting chief financial officer in September 2008, after Anthony “Buddy” Piszel resigned after the the government takeover of Freddie Mac.
As acting head of the company, Kellerman was responsible for the company’s financial controls, financial reporting and overseeing Freddie Mac’s budget and financial planning.
For more as it develops, go here.
NEW YORK - Twitter is all the rage these days, for better or worse. Mostly worse.
Twitter: Like service, like creators.
Do we really need 140-character “updates” from seemingly everybody? “Hey! I’m making a cup of TEA!”
Maureen Dowd at the New York Times went in to Twitter headquarters to meet the inventors of the service to rate the “annoying factor,” but her girlish nature eventually found Biz Stone and Evan Williams “charming.”
Well, we might beg to differ.
One guy is named Biz. That’s pretty annoying. He’s also a vegan. That’s super annoying. And he’s just half of the Twitter duo.
For the bigger picture, go here.
LOS ANGELES - Sarah Haskins, the host of Current TV’s “Infomania” has us hooked with this teaser: “When you think of the beautiful natural world, do you think, ‘I want the environment to be as clean as my vagina.’”
You were never promised a rose garden ... but here it is.
But it’s really not enough.