ELKHART, Ind. - Tough times mean tough choices for some graduating high school seniors.

It's a snappy look, Poindexter, but it'll cost ya.

The cost of renting caps and gowns is too expensive for some families on tight budgets and the graduates either require some help to acquire the appropriate atire or forgo the event.

However, in some communities, people are pitching in to help.

Read all about the problem here.

NEW YORK - In an attempt to cut another $800 million in costs, American Express will eliminate 4,000 jobs.

Don't leave home without it!

That’s about 6% of the firm’s global workforce.

While a number of affected workers were notified of the layoffs in recent days, company spokeswoman Joanna Lambert said the rest will be informed later. That always makes for a pleasant situation. .

The recent layoffs follow the 7,000 layoffs announced in October of last year.

Job security? Don’t leave home without it.

CHICAGO - Nobody saw this coming.

Time to look elsewhere when ordering sex online.

Craigslist, the online classified ads service, is dropping its “erotic services” listings after increased pressure from lawmakers.

The company will replace the ads in seven days with a new adult-oriented category that will be reviewed and screened by company employees.

Craigslist CEO Jim Buckmaster, who recently stated he didn’t believe that the erotic service ads were “sex related,” was unavailable for comment.

For more, visit here.

WASHINGTON - With all the trouble facing the nation, you’d think our Congressional representatives would have weightier matters on their minds than a “year of the Bible,” but you’d be wrong.

2010: Year of the Bible?

The Daily Kos is reporting that Rep. Paul Broun [R-GA] has introduced a resolution to encourage the president to declare 2010 as The Year Of The Bible.

Broun’s managed to assemble a fairly large list of co-sponsors for his resolution.

With unemployment at staggering levels, two wars and a raging recession, creating a  “year of the bible” is the burning issue for some elected officials?

Oh, brother, we are doomed.

KIGALI, Rwanda - Correspondents in Rwanda are reporting that government troops in the Democratic Republic of Congo have taken to sodomizing local Pygmies in an effort to obtain supernatural powers.

Now, why would you want to go and sodomize these poor little folks?

The Human Rights League of the Great Lakes, a local advocacy group, issued a statement that read, “Some soldiers from the 85th Brigade sodomised three male pygmies to gain supernatural powers and protection in Kisa village in Walikale territory.

“The village chief was stripped and (sodomised) in the presence of his wife, his children and daughter in-law.

“The children in turn were stripped and raped in front of their father.”

If ever the adage “pick on someone your won size” applied …

For more, go here.

WASHINGTON - Think you have what it takes to be part of the team?

Looking for potential candidates ... and investigating them.

The pay’s solidly middle-of-the-road, and you get to strike fear in the hearts of your fellow Americans, but don’t think getting in the door will be easy. There are requirements. Check out what they are by going here.

BOSTON - The medical community has made numerous contradictory pronouncements regarding the benefits of consuming one or two daily alcoholic beverages.

Straight up or on the rocks, it's still unclear whether booze has healh benefits.

Now Harvard is getting into the act.

We hope the august institution will settle the debate once and for all.

For more, visit here.

CINCINNATI - He has no super-powers, but he does has a spiffy homemade costume, some similarly-costumed nerd friends … and a taser. How long it will be until somebody shoots him is anybody’s guess.

ROCHESTER, NY - Fast-food franchise Popeye’s Chicken and Biscuits has some devoted customers. They are less than pleased to learn that the chicken well has temporarily run dry.

LOS ANGELES - Who doesn’t love the taste of whole chicken?

Just like mom's?

But in today’s go-go world, who has time for cooking?

If only there were a solution.

Now comes Sweet Sue brand’s whole cooked chicken … in a can.

Check out the pictures over at Gizmodo. If the pale, leprous look of the chicken doesn’t appeal to you, maybe you’ll like the gelatinous goop it seems to be covered in. To be fair, the folks at Sweet Sue recommend browning in an oven before consuming.

Like the can says, “Home-Style Goodness.”